A previously-obscure United States junior senator suddenly became a household name in early March, after Senator Katie Britt (R-AL) served as the GOP mouthpiece in response to President Joe Biden‘s State of the Union address.
Britt’s response was a near-instant target of mockery, as people collected to largely ask the same question: Who is Katie Britt, and did she crawl out from under our beds to deliver that speech? Looking like she was recently brainwashed by the Dai Li or spawned via a witch’s summoning circle, Britt grinned her way through discussions of brutally weighty subjects. She flipped between cheery Handmaids Tale matriarch and furious Karen with little warning, giving viewers whiplash in equal measure with their fresh nightmares.
Senator Britt’s plastic, overindulgent delivery, somehow both lifeless and terrifying, left people struggling to get her dead eyes and vacant smile out of their heads. As a result, Katie Britt has rocketed to relevance, as people from both sides of the aisle wonder just where she came from, and how we can get her to go back.
Katie Britt’s children
Unfortunately for both of the small humans forced to share a space with her, the AI-imitation that is Katie Britt brought children into this world. She shares two kids with her husband, former Patriots offensive tackle Wesley Britt, and we assume those children ask their dad to check their closets for mom, rather than monsters (momsters, if you will), before bed at night.
The Britt children were mentioned in their mother’s lengthy address, as she was working hard to resonate with average, non-plastic Americans. She has two nearly-teenage children, a son and a daughter, who are currently in 8th and 9th grade, according to ABC 7. Their names are Bennett and Ridgeway, and perhaps the kindest thing Britt has ever done for them is to keep them far from her politics. While the senator’s decisions as a public servant will doubtless affect her children, she keeps them far enough from the spotlight to provide them some degree of privacy.
We’re not about to get in the way of that. These kids deserve some level of kindness in a world that gave them AI Barbie for a parent, and at the end of the day they have nothing to do with their mother’s politics.
