Nato And Remy’s Last Stand: Dysfunctional Horror Families

Remy – Dogtooth

Outside of A Serbian Film, this is the movie that the most people hit me up about and say “holy shit.” Dogooth is about a Greek family who MAY appear normal if you based it only on outer appearances, but in many ways, they are the most fucked up of all.

How do I even explain this family to you?

Dogtooth is about a family – one son and two daughters, as well as a father and mother. The kicker is, this is the most fucked up family ever, and they may not even know it. The parents decided to shield their children from the outside world by completely fabricating a made up world to them, and of course, because the kids never get to set foot outside of that world, they have no idea that everything they are learning is some sick-ass, twisted shit.

The reason the film is called Dogtooth is because the parents tell the children that when they lose their dog teeth is when children are okay to move out of the house and be on their own. As you know, we don’t lose our canine teeth at any point, so really, they are just setting up the kids to be controlled, broken, and hostages. It sounds messed up enough, but the family dynamic becomes even MORE fucked up when the prostitute Dad hires to relieve the son decides these people are too fucked up, and doesn’t want to come by anymore.

Guess what, that leaves one of the sisters to have to relieve him. Yes, it goes there.

Hey, we warned you these are messed up families.

Nato – The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Franchise

When talking dysfunctional families, I’d be remiss not to pay tribute to the most f#cked up of them all – the Sawyer family. Everybody knows Leatherface, the chainsaw-wielding brute who hacked his way to slasher glory, but upon meeting his extensive family, that’s where the true horror begins.

Leatherface may do the killing, but as Tobe Hooper has explained over and over again, he sees his horrific creation as a big baby, killing out of fear. You see how he’s treated by the other Sawyers, and if you sat through the most recent, ridiculous prequel, you also see how devoted he is to family. But after Leatherface racks up another victim, it’s the Sawyers who jump into action, using victim’s bones for building inside their house, and processing their flesh into yummy BBQ dishes and chili – winning food festivals in the area, of course.

You are what you eat, so it makes sense that we eat one another, right? Wrong. Cannibalism is terrifying, but the Sawyers have that Southern hospitality farce down pat, so you happily eat their meal, assuming it’s nothing but some organic, grass fed cow meat mixed in a tantalizing chili – until you bite into a finger.

Without even talking about outlandish characters like Chop Top, Fred, Tech, or Grandpa, the whole cannibalism angle is enough to earn them some huge dysfunction points – especially when poor Leatherface might not even understand what he’s doing.

Yes, I just sympathized with a slasher icon.

Alright, so which dysfunctional horror families did we miss?

*A special thanks to Remy for stepping in to guest write! Feel free to follow either of us on Twitter for even more insanity and updates:

Matt Donato Follow @DoNatoBomb

Remy Carreiro Follow @RemyCarreiro

Like what you read? Check out last week’s article where Remy and I design new horror video games!