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Ranking The Best Picture Nominees For The Oscars

So one of the nice side benefits of perpetual unemployment, other than learning to translate which Craigslist job ads are for porn (read: ALL OF THEM), is that you've got plenty of time to catch up on movies. In a first, I've actually managed to see every Best Picture nominee that the year has had to offer, so I thought I'd drop my two cents on how they all measure up. Even with snubs to both The Master, and my own personal favorite movie of the year, this is a strong selection of films, and everything on this list is absolutely worth checking out. So enjoy, and remember: I'm not an authority on these matters, I'm the ONLY* authority on these matters!!!

2: Django Unchained

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They say this cat Django is a bad mother- shut your mouth!

This is easily Tarantino’s most misshapen, divisive film, in a decade full of misshapen, divisive Tarantino films. So why should I think it’s also his best? I’ve enjoyed most of his catalogue thoroughly, but Django is the least Tarantino-y Tarantino movie yet, and it’s all the better for it. Sure, the genre subversions, orgiastic violence, and B-movie references are all still evident, but for once, they don’t feel like they exist solely to massage the egos of film nerds.

This is Tarantino making good on the transition he started with Inglorious Basterds, going from fanboy turned industry badboy, to storyteller with something to say. The more the conversation of a new Tarantino movie shifts away from the man himself, the better; maybe then it won’t so easy to mention his name six times in 136 words.

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