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Ranking The Best Picture Nominees For The Oscars

So one of the nice side benefits of perpetual unemployment, other than learning to translate which Craigslist job ads are for porn (read: ALL OF THEM), is that you've got plenty of time to catch up on movies. In a first, I've actually managed to see every Best Picture nominee that the year has had to offer, so I thought I'd drop my two cents on how they all measure up. Even with snubs to both The Master, and my own personal favorite movie of the year, this is a strong selection of films, and everything on this list is absolutely worth checking out. So enjoy, and remember: I'm not an authority on these matters, I'm the ONLY* authority on these matters!!!

5: Argo

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The amazing true story of a man who selflessly cast himself as the lead in one of the year’s biggest awards-magnets.

Like a lot of people, I recognize there’s something a little inspirational about Ben Affleck’s recent career trajectory, such that I was kind of happy he was the unexpected big winner at the Golden Globes (remember kids, you too can earn the respect of old white guys, no matter how pretty you are, or how many Daredevils you star in!).

As a director, Baffleck seems destined to be the next Eastwood; which is to say, his skill at attracting major talent, and solid material, will usually overshadow his work behind the camera. Argo’s cast is terrific, the pace is lively, and the script comes replete with cheeky, harmless digs at Hollywood that awards people seem to like. As with The Town, and Gone Baby Gone, though, it’s a film that feels every bit the product of its parts, and nothing more. It’s a workmanlike, meat ‘n potatoes piece of popcorn drama that’s overwhelmingly good, and only very occasionally great. It’s The Avengers for seniors.

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