A tempting new visual outlines how the U.S. could transform into ‘Jesusland’ after a handful of states join ‘the United States of Canada’

We’re on week 368 of 2025, as Donald Trump‘s second presidential term prematurely ages every American — and every human who’s paying attention.

Blood pressure monitors are about to be a necessity in every home, as Trump’s elementary school playground of a cabinet begins the work of dismantling this nation’s democracy. With each new appointment, global anxiety rises, but at least there’s some small amount of levity tossed into the tense situation rising between the U.S. and our northern neighbor.

Canada has been a target of Trump’s second term since before he actually took the oath of office, and his threats toward the country haven’t slowed down over his first month in the position. He, and members of his administration, continue to falsely claim that Canada is set to become America’s “51st state,” despite consistent pushback from the country itself.

Not to mention its leaders. Justin Trudeau is on his way out, but he’s still Prime Minister of Canada for now, and he’s been extremely clear that Canada has no intent to join the U.S. of A. What started as baffling claims have transformed into insidious threats, and Canada’s citizens aren’t taking it lying down. They’re preparing for an actual war — since that’s exactly what Trump is threatening — and they’ve got some ideas of how to break up territory once all is said and done.

Canada has exactly zero interest in becoming another U.S. state, but it’s not completely opposed to taking on some new land. Only a few states are on the table, since Canada wouldn’t touch Texas with a 10-foot pole, but a few northern states could get much better healthcare in exchange for some slightly longer vowels.

Trump’s threats are incredibly real, bafflingly damaging, and truly concerning. Canada’s, meanwhile, are closer to jokes than anything, as the nation’s citizens push back at Trump’s insane posturing with a mix between smirking taunt and tongue-in-cheek jest. That’s manifested in the form of a simple visual, which proposes breaking up the current U.S. into “Jesusland” and “The United States of Canada.”

Jesusland would only lose a few states in the exchange, and those states will almost certainly be better off under new ownership. Only 19 of the original 50 would be transferred to Canada, leaving many of the nation’s largest and most Republican-coveted states to make their own way under Team Trump. But a few lucky northern and western states — including California, Washington, Illinois, Minnesota, Pennsylvania, New York, and Vermont — might just get their shot at universal healthcare after all.

Canada is not being serious about absorbing more than a third of the United States, but its joking riposte with Trump is notable none-the-less. Trump’s 51st state chatter offers literally nothing of substance to Canadians — what, y’all don’t want terrible healthcare and guns in your schools? Why not?! — but Canada is more than willing to spread the wealth among its proposed new territory.

Should those 19 states go to Canada, the new USC would have a population topping 184 million, according to the graphic, and its GDP could top China’s at more than 11 trillion. That’s not to mention that said GDP would be double that of Jesusland — something that would undeniably rankle King Trump — and the energy self sufficiency, tech and media dominance, and incredible hockey skills that come with any Canadian passport are a major bonus.

Sounds like a great deal if you ask me. As a resident of one such USC state, I only have one question: Where do I sign?