Donald Trump
Photo by Timothy A. Clary-Pool/Getty Images

Donald ‘I fart in court’ Trump would now like special jury selection privileges, please

Trump is finally learning that money can't buy everything.

Few people on this planet can understand the life experiences of one Donald Trump, a man born with a silver spoon shoved so far down his throat it tickled his innards.

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Early scenes from The Emperor’s New Groove paint a picture of the life Trump has become accustomed to. From his very first days on the earth, the man was doted on by everyone around him — he could do no wrong, and each and every idea born of his orange-stained brain was treated as groundbreaking. As a result, we now have a toddler of a former president facing trials for his rampant criminal behavior, and all because — those long years ago — he was never taught the concept of “no.”

That’s come back to bite him on numerous occasions, in recent years. He didn’t hear “no” when the women he was assaulting screamed it in his ears, he didn’t hear it when the American people bellowed it in poll booths back in 2020, and he’s not hearing it now, as Judge Juan Merchan repeatedly shuts down the 77-year-old’s attempts to gain special treatment.

Trump has made countless attempts to dodge accountability in his criminal trial, which sees him finally facing up to allegations of falsified business documents during his initial run for president. The hush money trial is finally selecting its jurors, and Tantrum Trump wasted no time in complaining about his treatment by the courts. Unlike the thousands of bootlickers he’s become accustomed to, the people in that courtroom are required to be unbiased, something the former president takes massive issue with.

He’s been given special treatment at every other point in his life, so its no wonder Trump expects it in his current criminal trial. He shared his fury at being treated like a regular American citizen on his first off-day from the trial, sprinting to Truth Social to stir up some sympathy as he stares down serious charges.

Trump, in a typical social media rage, expressed his incorrect assumption that he’d be given “unlimited” strikes of potential jurors in the case. As explained by NBC News, New York law dictates that each side does have unlimited strikes, but the judge — in this case, Juan Merchan — has leave to decide whether or not a cause is worthy of striking a juror from the pool.

As such, Trump’s team has been halted at several points as they try to flippantly strike countless jurors from the case. The former criminal-in-chief is predictably enraged by the lack of favoritism, squalling on Truth Social that he wasn’t given “nearly enough” strikes, particularly when “we were purposely given the 2nd Worst Venue in the Country.”

The fact that he refers to the court room as a venue is wild all on its own, and exposes the derangement of this uniquely unhinged individual. Trump’s entire life is a spectacle, and he sees each new development as yet another stage from which he can trumpet his talking points and disparage his detractors. This stage isn’t adorned properly for King Criminal, however, and that’s not sitting well with the entitled presidential candidate.

Which, according to Trump, makes the entire affair “election interference” and yet another step in the ongoing “witch hunt” against him.

By the time Tuesday rolled to a close, Trump and his team had already used up a full six of their 10 allotted strikes, leaving them with only four remaining. That will almost certainly lead to more tantrums from the utterly infantile 77-year-old, as he works to manipulate the courtroom in the same way he manipulated the American people. Merchan is onto his games, however, and the New York judge is determined to see Trump — for perhaps the first time in his life — actually face the consequences of his actions.


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Nahila Bonfiglio
Nahila carefully obsesses over all things geekdom and gaming, bringing her embarrassingly expansive expertise to the team at We Got This Covered. She is a Staff Writer and occasional Editor with a focus on comics, video games, and most importantly 'Lord of the Rings,' putting her Bachelors from the University of Texas at Austin to good use. Her work has been featured alongside the greats at NPR, the Daily Dot, and Nautilus Magazine.