In a move that absolutely no one asked for, Lauren Boebert is offering personal advice and pep talks on Cameo, so here’s hoping she has an eyebrow shaping before anyone forks out the $250 fee.
The politician announced her Cameo plans in a recent welcome video posted on the platform, telling users “it’s your girl from Colorado.” Boebert, who should’ve learned about her digital footprint by now, explained that her Cameo services are for anyone who “needs an America First pep talk,” or “want[s] to surprise friends or family with a message for a special day.” I don’t know about you, but seeing Boebert appear in video form with those asymmetrical caterpillars would certainly be a surprise, but more in a jump-scare way.
“If you just want to know my thoughts on whatever’s on your mind, Cameo is the place to connect with me,” Boebert said. One personalized video from the politician costs $250, so I suggest buying as many Wicked tickets as possible with that budget rather than housing a clip of Miss theater-goer in your video folder. In any case, Boebert’s newly created Cameo page says she is willing to “mention personal jokes” in her clips, as well as use “signature catchphrases” or “share words of wisdom,” the last of which probably comes at a higher price, since wisdom seemingly doesn’t come easy for the lawmaker.
In one of the more (uneven) eyebrow-raising details on her Cameo listing, Boebert’s video request form allowed customers to specify their gender, including the pronouns they/them. Given all that has happened around queerness on Capitol Hill of late, the last place we expected to find inclusivity was Boebert’s Cameo page, but I get the feeling not many LGBTQ people will spend $250 on the woman who raised $67K in anti-trans gift money for Imane Khelif’s opponent.
The House Ethics Committee outlines that members of Congress are able to earn up to $31,805 from outside income, though Boebert and her ilk have seemed a little averse to that committee in recent weeks. Speaking of which, Matt Gaetz, Boebert’s chum and the subject of a House Ethics Committee investigation, also joined Cameo this week after withdrawing his nomination to be president-elect Donald Trump’s attorney general. Between Gaetz (who charges up to $500 for a personalized clip) and Boebert, Cameo might have to clarify if and when creators are using Botox or eyebrow-lifting filters in their videos.
Since her Cameo profile invites customers who “want to know my thoughts,” we hope someone brave enough will request answers from Boebert about any number of new developments. From her obsession with immigrants supposedly committing crimes (while staying silent about the alleged crimes of her colleagues and her own son), to her thoughts on the Beetlejuice musical, there’s copious material from which Boebert could create her so-called “America First pep talks.”
Interestingly, Boebert isn’t the only current or former political personality to switch their video settings to selfie mode, with Donald Trump Jr. and George Santos also offering personalized videos on the Cameo platform. It truly reads like my nightmare blunt rotation, but perhaps the only thing more nightmarish than meeting this crew in person would be having them live in perpetuity in my phone video storage. It’s at that point that I’d cancel my backup services, since I want no memory of Boebert giving me a “pep talk.”
Published: Nov 25, 2024 05:47 pm