U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CA) arrives to a House Republican caucus meeting at the U.S. Capitol on October 12, 2023 in Washington, The House Republicans continue to debate their pick for Speaker after their initial nominee, Rep. Steve Scalise (R-LA), failed to secure the number of votes needed. The full House of Representatives is expected to vote on a replacement for former Speaker Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) after he was ousted last week. (Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images)
Photo by Anna Moneymaker/Getty Images

Lauren ‘my son breaks into cars’ Boebert didn’t get her way again, so now she wants, like, revenge

Hey, at least she's not groping anyone's crotch in public this time.

Lauren Boebert, America’s favorite musical theater hand jobber and mother of a serial car thief, is up to her idiotic and petty antics again. The Colorado Representative wants to strike back at the state official who got former President Donald Trump removed from the ballot, after the Supreme Court unanimously reversed the decision.

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Boebert is out for blood and wants Colorado Secretary of State Jena Griswold out of office pronto. She fired her first shots on X: “You have no business in the Secretary of State’s office and shouldn’t oversee an election in which you have shown a clear bias,” she said. “You’re unfit. Time for you to be RECALLED!”

Apparently, doing your job and standing up for what you believe in makes you unfit for office, but getting felt up and fondling a man’s genitals in a theater is just par for the course. Oh, and calling immigrants criminals is fine too, even though her son Tyler is facing multiple felony charges for allegedly breaking into multiple cars.

It seems that “values” to Boebert just applies to when it doesn’t involve her. Griswold, by the way, said she was “disappointed with the decision.”

“We believe that states like Colorado [and] states across the nation have the authority to disqualify oath-breaking insurrectionists from our ballots. The Supreme Court decided otherwise. Donald Trump is on Colorado’s ballot, and votes for him in the Super Tuesday election will be counted.”

That concession was not enough for the handsy Boebert. She fired off a letter on X saying the people of Colorado have “zero faith” in Griswold’s ability to “adequately protect their right to vote and oversee elections.”

Does that mean that the “people” of Colorado have more faith in Boebert? Even though she didn’t even graduate from high school and didn’t get a GED until 2020? Even though she’s been arrested multiple times? Even though she’s on the record using slurs against other politicians and actively promotes conspiracy theories? Even though she has the IQ of a cardboard box?

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The letter goes on to say that “we” are “actively building a grassroots coalition of Coloradans and Americans to begin the process of holding you accountable for your attack on our elections and the voting rights of millions of Coloradans.” Trying to steal an election is fine, though. Boebert continues that her group is considering all legal options, including a “formal recall effort.”

Who is this “we” of which she speaks? Surely it’s a large coalition of oh wait it’s three other Republican officials in Colorado. Surely they can’t be speaking for all the people of Colorado, can they? The letter is also dripping in accidental irony, like when she says “actions speak louder than words and your actions….” It’s like she’s talking about herself!

This whole “rigged election” thing she’s peddling is so juvenile and tired. Just because Trump can lie through his teeth and get away with it doesn’t mean you can, Boebert. Why is she vindictive? He’s on the ballot, that should be the end of it. It’s just a bad look. What if she, I don’t know, focused on making Colorado better instead of being a petty, vindictive child? That would really be something.

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Jon Silman
Jon Silman is a stand-up comic and hard-nosed newspaper reporter (wait, that was the old me). Now he mostly writes about Brie Larson and how the MCU is nose diving faster than that 'Black Adam' movie did. He has a Zelda tattoo (well, Link) and an insatiable love of the show 'Below Deck.'