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Donald Trump
Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

Running mate incoming: Convicted felon Donald Trump reveals when he’s going to announce the Beavis to his Butt-Head

Oh great. Another one.

The official announcement of Donald Trump‘s 2024 running mate is impending, forcing people to come to grips with the fact that soon there will be two of them.

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I in no way intend to compliment Mike Pence here, but the bland jar of mayonnaise Trump ran with the first time around was a refreshingly mild addition to the insanity that is Donald J. Trump. There’s essentially no way the would-be dictator will repeat what he sees as a mistake in choosing someone with a minor amount of reason again, unfortunately, which all but guarantees that someone as utterly unhinged as Trump is set to join him on the ballot.

The flaming bag of feces that is the Republican candidate for president told TV psychologist Dr. Phil in a Thursday interview that he intends to make the announcement at the Republican National Convention in mid-July.

“I can’t yet, but we have some very good people. I’m going to do it in the convention,” Trump said when Dr. Phil asked who his Vice President will be, per CNN. This leaves Americans with a few more blissful weeks before we discover which empty-headed sycophant will lick Trump’s boots straight to the ballot box.

High on the list of incomprehensible idiots in the running are his former opponent and a man he once called a “nervous basket case,” Marco Rubio, along with Arkansas’ Tom Cotton, Ohio’s J.D. Vance, South Carolina’s Tim Scott, and South Dakota governor Doug Burgum. They’re joined by New York Republican Elise Stefanik and, of course, at least one Florida politician in Byron Donalds.

The entire group shares one hateful brain cell between themselves, but no one expected Trump to choose someone reasonable. Then they wouldn’t do his bidding without question, which is the only thing he’s looking for — not experience, or intelligence, or actual leadership potential. Loyalty is all Trump demands of his followers, and make no mistake, his running mate will be nothing more than his chief follower. Not a partner, but a minion to echo his talking points, take the blame for his bad decisions, and maybe change his diaper mid-way through every presidential address.

That’s if Trump makes his way into office, of course, a nightmare we can still prevent if there’s any good left in the world. The man is officially a convicted felon, his track record as a businessman and politician are equally appalling, and he’s singlehandedly proven just how broken our political system is. He is the worst possible option for president, and there’s no running mate that will ever make him even close to competent enough to run this country anywhere but straight to hell.


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Image of Nahila Bonfiglio
Nahila Bonfiglio
Nahila carefully obsesses over all things geekdom and gaming, bringing her embarrassingly expansive expertise to the team at We Got This Covered. She is a Staff Writer and occasional Editor with a focus on comics, video games, and most importantly 'Lord of the Rings,' putting her Bachelors from the University of Texas at Austin to good use. Her work has been featured alongside the greats at NPR, the Daily Dot, and Nautilus Magazine.