Woman texts boyfriend suggesting they get intimate. But he allegedly decides to compromise her dignity to act 'cool' in front of his friends – We Got This Covered
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Woman texts boyfriend suggesting they get intimate. But he allegedly decides to compromise her dignity to act ‘cool’ in front of his friends

“Holy cringe."

Relationships are tricky, but there’s a line that, once crossed, makes it pretty clear you’re with the wrong person. Reddit user Psychological_Ant747 recently shared her one such experience on the AITAH subreddit. She is alleging that her 38-year-old boyfriend humiliated her in front of his friends in a way that left her feeling completely mortified. It is important to remember that we only have her version of the story, and we don’t have her boyfriend’s perspective.

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According to her post on Reddit, the couple, both in their thirties, were at an annual get-together with the boyfriend’s friend group. She explained that “I always go even though I am honestly not close to any of them. This year was the same. We spent something like 8 or 9 hours with them and I made a real effort to get along the whole time.” On the way home, since she had a few drinks in her, she privately texted him, “I asked if we could have sex tonight.”

Per the post, she thought that “he would just play along or text back something quiet.” Over text, he allegedly replied with a no “because we did not have any condoms.” Purportedly, he ignored her suggestion to buy some “and instead started pushing one of his friends to sleep over at our place that night. Then he actually looked at me and said out loud, in the full car, no I am not going to bang you tonight, we do not have condoms. And then in the same breath told his friend he was welcome to stay in our spare room.”

She claimed that the car went silent in response

The Redditor noted, “The whole car went silent because it came out of nowhere. It was so awkward that the friend had to make a joke just to move past it.” She told the community in the comments, “It was an hour ride home after that with the same people, i was f—ing mortified and just want to disappear.”

When they finally got home, she told him she was angry and done with the relationship. According to her post, she wrote that “his apology was basically I was just trying to be funny and no one even noticed,” even though she had witnessed the car go silent.  

Then something happened that really “got to her.” She wrote, “After I said we were done and went upstairs, he went back outside, called those same friends, and asked them do you guys know why she is mad? So the private thing I told him, that I was hurt enough to end it, he immediately turned around and shared with the exact same group of people all over again.”

Reddit seemed to be largely on her side. One commenter noted how something like that would work out for him, stating, “The way my wife would leave me immediately if did this. This guy is not only not on your side, but is a 38 year old who still tries to act ‘cool’ around his friends. Holy cringe.” 

Another summarized the situation as they saw it: “Ah, to be a 38 year old man making high school level jokes to embarrass his loving partner who just wanted to be intimate in front of all his friends and not understanding why that was whack. And then calling his friends to ask why is she so mad instead of thinking for a moment. Man, some men must be so at peace with so few critical thoughts.” 

One Redditor, however, captured the general sentiment: “NTA-This guy is an immature, inconsiderate child. Block him and be done. You can do better.” Last year, a TikToker shared that he saw a humiliating Christmas gift where a woman received an offer from her husband for basic parenting.

Public humiliation is often a major red flag in any relationship. According to The List, public humiliation is an all too common trait in romantic relationships, and it can easily become a major dealbreaker. They noted that Relationship expert and family therapist Jennifer Kelman told Best Life that letting a partner humiliate you in front of others is a big no. 

Kelman reportedly noted that this type of behavior can be an “aggressive act” that is meant to make the partner look good in the eyes of others. It goes against the foundation of trust and respect that a healthy relationship requires. For instance, when a judge told a woman to apologize for defaming her ex-husband, she chose to humiliate him with 15 apologies.

Per The List, an expert suggested that if you find yourself facing public humiliation, you should first check in with yourself and validate your own emotions. It is important to communicate honestly rather than resorting to passive-aggressive behavior.


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Jaymie Vaz
Jaymie Vaz is a freelance writer who likes to use words to explore all the things that fascinate her. You can usually find her doing unnecessarily deep dives into games, movies, or fantasy/Sci-fi novels. Or having rousing debates about how political and technological developments are causing cultural shifts around the world.