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Jesse Watters
Photo by Roy Rochlin/Getty Images

Jesse Watters literally said that ‘everyone in the world wants to be taken over by the United States of America.’ He literally said that.

One of many reasons why he wasn’t invited to Thanksgiving at his mom’s.

Fox News seems to be a catch-all for the absolute worst the world of journalism has to offer, but no one on the planet (save maybe Piers Morgan) can outdo the impossibly irritating and utterly brainless Jesse Watters.

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This is the same man who said a vote for Kamala Harris would miraculously turn men into women. The same pathetic pinecone who said generals would “have their way” with Harris if she became president. Even his own mother is sick of the toxic, misogynist shtick, but the rest of us still have to endure his idiotic takes every time that sneering face appears on screen.

Desperately clinging to his crown as Fox’s premier truth-hating gasbag, Watters has a new incorrect and insane take on politics. This time, he’s claiming everyone in the world — literally everyone — is foaming at the mouth for a chance at American citizenship. All this in response to Trump’s repeated threats to take over various territories, from Canada to Greenland.

Speaking with Ontario Premier Doug Ford on his own segment, “Jesse Watters Primetime,” Watters whined over Canada’s extremely warranted offense at Trump’s comments. Starting off nice and combative by claiming that Canadians clearly have an issue with Americans, a clip of Watters’ interaction with Ford proceeds to veer into true insanity when he claims that Canadians “have a problem with us.”

“If I were a citizen of another country and I was a neighbor of the United States, I would consider it a privilege to be taken over by the United States of America,” Watters said. “That’s what everybody else in the world wants — American citizenship.”

Watters is clearly taking his new job as the void where intelligence goes to die very seriously. He even had the gall to add that “for some reason,” the idea of being seized by its southern neighbor is “repellant” to Canadians — who doesn’t pray to be conquered, after all? — and noted that he finds that “personally offensive.”

The entire tangent is utterly insane, which makes it perfectly on-brand for the patently pigheaded Watters. Somehow this man is twisting the very real reactions of other countries, when faced with actual threats from an incoming U.S. president, as insulting to the nation? Honey, I’m going to hold your hand when I say this, but you should not be allowed to live alongside intelligent life.

Canada is an independent country. Greenland is an independent territory. The Panama Canal belongs to Panama. And America just proved itself to be perhaps the worst decision-maker on the planet, since we elected perhaps the least-electable person in existence to lead our nation. Why on Earth would anyone, anywhere, celebrate being conquered by anyone, let alone the globe’s brainwashed, edge lord big brother? We have literally nothing to offer almost every other nation, and yet Watters thinks people should be celebrating in the streets at the thought of a hostile takeover?

It’s truly unbeatably brainless, and it genuinely boggles one’s mind to think Watters felt bold enough to say it out loud, let alone to Ford’s face. Thankfully, the Premier had exactly the reaction one would expect — baffled laughter — to Watters’ tangent, proving that intelligent life still exists out there, and sometimes it’s even featured on Fox News.


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Author
Image of Nahila Bonfiglio
Nahila Bonfiglio
Nahila carefully obsesses over all things geekdom and gaming, bringing her embarrassingly expansive expertise to the team at We Got This Covered. She is a Staff Writer and occasional Editor with a focus on comics, video games, and most importantly 'Lord of the Rings,' putting her Bachelors from the University of Texas at Austin to good use. Her work has been featured alongside the greats at NPR, the Daily Dot, and Nautilus Magazine.