There may come a day when Republicans stop letting their worst selves rise to the surface, but we’re willing to bet it won’t come for another four years, at least.
Donald Trump has been relatively quiet ahead of his inauguration, perhaps attempting to appear somewhat presidential for a change. Instead of his usual antics, it appears he’s letting his minions spew crazy for a while, and his wife Melania has been more than happy to accept the baton. She’s finally broken her silence on how she felt about the 2016 transition, and unsurprisingly, the former model had nothing nice to say about Barack and Michelle Obama’s hospitality. She seems to have completely forgotten her own rotten behavior in 2020, but never fear ⏤ the internet was more than happy to remind her.
The government is open for business after the holidays, folks, and boy, are things getting spicy! It’s not even February yet and already Jasmine Crockett and Nancy Mace have contemplated throwing hands on the House floor over ⏤ surprise, surprise ⏤ civil rights and liberties. Pete Hegseth, meanwhile, appears to be inching ever closer to a position he’s wildly unqualified for amid rumors of out-of-control drinking. He took the stand this week to defend himself, but the Fox News presenter couldn’t even get through his intro without looking like a fool.
Vice president-elect JD Vance has also been quiet in the lead-up to the inauguration. Perhaps the “Never Trump Guy” is spending time with his family before the big move, or maybe he’s practicing loosening those throat muscles. After all, it’s gonna be hard to eat all of the nasty words he’s said about Trump over the years now that they’ll be rubbing elbows every day.
Things in America might look a little grim, but at least those state-side aren’t dealing with Andrew Tate. The controversy and lawsuit-swamped misogynist’s pea brain is convinced that he’s somehow qualified to be Prime Minister — and, for some reason, Trump’s new best friend Elon Musk agrees. We’re going to guess it has something to do with the tacky acronym his new party has adopted, but it’s probably a way cringier connection knowing these internet edge-lords.
Alright, friends ⏤ let’s take a deep breath and dive into this madness.
Nancy Mace, fresh off a fabricated injury, up and challenges Jasmine Crockett to a fight
Though she didn’t specify that she wanted to use her fists in her bold recent challenging of Democratic superhero Jasmine Crockett, Nancy Mace sure did hint at wanting to engage in some form of fisticuffs. The notoriously transphobic representative lashed out at Crockett during her Texas colleague’s championing of the Oversight Subcommittee on Civil Rights and Civil Liberties and quickly dug herself into a very unflattering hole.
Mace demanded that she and Crockett “take it outside” after the famously sassy representative criticized her campaign against transgender people. Following massive backlash, Mace quickly tried to backtrack, claiming that she wanted to step outside for a “more constructive conversation” as opposed to a fight (okay, Jan). She’ll have a hard time convincing anyone of that, particularly after multiple witnesses recently refuted her version of another incident. The latter saw Mace cry “assault” over what witnesses say was nothing more than a handshake — which really begs the question of how well this perpetual victim and incessant loudmouth would hold up in an actual brawl.
Marjorie Taylor Green ditches malice for mediation with completely impossible demand for Republican unity
Say what you will about Marjorie Taylor Greene, but never say she isn’t the actual encapsulation of all things MAGA. She’s loud, performative, and more hypocritical than Elon Musk during a conversation about free speech. Now that the election is over, the belligerent blonde is back to attacking everyone she perceives as a Republican In Name Only, a list that now includes anyone who doesn’t immediately kiss the ring.
Heading to her favorite social media cesspool, Greene climbed onto her soapbox to preach unity. “It’s not about any one member of Congress or any particular caucus,” she wrote melodramatically. “It’s about the AMERICAN PEOPLE.” The woman-slash-critter has been nothing but combative during her short time in office, which makes her statement sound emptier than the boxes of bleach under her sink. Of course her next sentiment put everything right in the world, as she clarified that the will of the people is actually the will of Donald Trump.
Republicans have all the cards, but even that isn’t enough. Trump’s team wants all or nothing, and they couldn’t be clearer that it’s their way or the highway — especially for the RINOs who don’t get in line.
To get the rest of the political tea, which this week includes Melania Trump lashing out at the Obamas, JD Vance’s harsh criticism of his new boss, and Pete Hegseth forgetting the names of his own children, be sure to sign up for WGTC’s They Said What?! Newsletter.
Published: Jan 16, 2025 05:11 pm