Ever since the second coming of the orange anti-christ came to pass, Donald Trump has decided to cast himself as the world’s biggest (yet smallest-handed) troll by making each new cabinet appointee more ironic than the last. The most infamous of these bone-headed hires has to be Elon Musk to head up the newly minted Department of Government Efficiency. Yes, the guy who blew $44 billion on buying (and then ruining) Twitter is in charge of cutting back governmental spending.
For a minute there, we thought we were spared hate-filled harpie Marjorie Taylor Greene getting granted a position of power, but this is Trump’s America so of course we’re not getting what we want. The transphobic toad of a representative announced the news this Nov. 21 that she will be partnering up with Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy to helm a subcommittee within the pair’s new department, which goes by the eye-rolling acronym DOGE.
Yes, not since the last Spider-Man movie have so many supervillains teamed up to spread terror — this real-life Injustice League even has it’s own Green(e) Goblin. Marj thinks she’s something of a scientist herself, you know.
As per Fox News, House Oversight Committee Chair James Comer has spoken with Musk and his DOGE team to establish said subcommittee. Although she’s less a functioning human being these days than a furious, spitting, incoherent Donald Duck cartoon made into flesh, MTG will be tasked with chairing the Delivering on Government Efficiency Subcommittee. Her job will be to root out “waste, fraud, and abuse in the federal government.”
Excuse me, let me take a sip of water so I can give a spit take. Just when we thought things couldn’t get any more ridiculous, the job of cracking down on abuse within the government has been given to a woman who counts spewing offensive and abusive rhetoric on social media among her favorite activities — it must be right up there with blowing up cars and failing to string a simple sentence together.
You’d think Greene’s new position would be the most incomputable appointment on Trump’s staff, but sadly it’s not that easy to deduce. On top of Musk, there’s his pick for Secretary for Education. Who? Obviously, it’s Linda McMahon, the co-founder of WWE who might be being sued for enabling child abuse. Trying to figure out who the numero uno worst of the bunch is leaves one looking like that Larry David meme.
At least we know Matt Gaetz won’t be Attorney General, after the universe apparently determined that a man being investigated by the Department of Justice for child trafficking and rape claims ending up running the Department of Justice was just one bad joke too many. That said, we really could’ve done without Marj slithering to her own antithetical appointment on the very same day. They say that when one door closes another must open, but we hoped that Marj was too busy patrolling bathroom doors to notice when an opportunity for advancement came her way.
Published: Nov 21, 2024 02:06 pm