Latest Political Tea: Donald Trump takes aim at gay marriage after bullying Zelenskyy and coddling Musk

Donald Trump gave his first speech to the American people this week, and as expected, he packed it to the brim with self-congratulations and petty remarks toward the Democrats. It’s nearly impossible to keep track of the mind-boggling number of lies and half-truths, but we’ve done our absolute best to track the bonkers words that came out of the president’s mouth.

The week is tainted by Trump and JD Vance’s Friday afternoon verbal beatdown of Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy. Begrudging Zelenskyy for his frustration with Vladimir Putin and his unwillingness to lay down for the Russian bully and grovel for peace, Trump displayed perhaps the worst side of him we’ve seen to date. But what can you expect when Zelenskyy would say anything nice about Trump’s BFF Putin?

The only thing stranger than Trump’s open crush on Putin is his relatively new and incredibly bizarre obsession with Elon Musk. The tech bro and the septuagenarian are definitely in their honeymoon phase, but if the administration gets its way, they’ll never nab that sweet marriage certif. Yes, the administration is eyeballing the end of gay marriage, but there’s no point protesting in Trump’s America.

The president proclaimed his complete disregard for American values by announcing his intent to cut federal funding for colleges that host “illegal protests,” whatever that means. His shenanigans aren’t making America look any better on the world stage, and combined with his terrible tariffs, we’re losing friends left and right. Daily reminder that we have three years and nine more months of this nightmare. At least we have a fun survey for you to take!

National embarrassment Donald Trump may now hold the record for longest sustained lie-fest in history

There’s far too much to say, and your attention span is far too short (admit it) to detail every lie, embarrassing exaggeration, and straight-up mistake Donald Trump made in his excruciatingly long address to Congress this week. His wild speech hit all of the president’s favorite notes, from his attack on the transgender community to the border, tariffs, and Ukraine. He patted himself on the back over a few dozen imagined accomplishments, blasted his Democratic opponents, and overall reveled in the zealous admiration of the frothing GOP.

It may truly be impossible to count all the lies that spouted from those nightmarishly puckered lips, particularly when some of them are so utterly bombastic. The president veered into true lunacy with his threat to acquire Greenland “one way or the other,” but it’s his claims about trans mice that really took the cake. Democratic figures, from Bernie Sanders to View co-host Alyssa Farah Griffin, quickly joined the pushback against assertions made across the speech, and they didn’t mince words. While the former was busy delivering a meaningful message about parsing Trump’s carefully-crafted speech, the latter savaged Trump for the “ridiculous and not effective” leader he is. It’s hard to say which message was more needed after that dumpster fire of a speech.

While Zelenskyy advocates for peace, Trump just wants a piece ⏤ of Ukraine’s pie

In the early morning hours of Thursday, March 6, Volodymyr Zelenskyy posted on X describing the aftermath of yet another Russian missile strike that hit an ordinary hotel, killing four people and injuring 30 others. One thing people — like Donald “I will end the war in 24 hours” Trump — who needn’t have warfare constantly on the brain seem to ignore is that Russia first invaded Ukraine in 2014, escalating tensions and hostilities to a full-scale war when the larger country invaded again eight years later.

Since 2014 — no, not “2015” Mr. President, even JD had to correct you on that —  Russia has broken ceasefire agreements over two dozen times, and Ukrainians have been suffering unspeakable daily devastation and hardships. But still, how could President Zelenskyy have such “hatred” “for Putin”? Can’t he see that he’s making it “very tough for [Trump] to make a deal with that kind of hate?”

On Saturday, the POTUS and his overly eager side-kick, JD Vance — acting like your mother’s sleazy boyfriend who thinks he can scold you a mere month into the relationship — treated Zelenskyy like a metaphorical piñata for the world to see and recoil in disapproval as two clowns with sticks beat a dying horse. And not just any horse; for the sake of the analogy, think of Spirit the Stallion of the Cimarron, Joey from War Horse, or Ellie Williams’ Shimmer.

While putting up the pretense that he’s a man of “strength,” Trump showed both allies and Russia, whose state media was somehow present, that his administration’s vision aligns far more with Vladimir Putin’s Russia than with any other “free world” country. Even for individuals, like one The Telegraph editor, who fully support the “global conservative counter-revolution,” and believe Trump is “saving America” with his policies “on women’s rights,” “dismantling the woke madness,” and “building a colour-blind meritocracy” — yes, the author is a white dude — they are all the same ramming face-first into the wall of cognitive dissonance that Trump’s “victim-blaming narrative on Ukraine” triggers in their pro-MAGA brains.

To get the rest of the tea, which this week includes Trump’s terrible tariff war, the rise of the Russian asset, and a certain relationship with Elon, be sure to sign up for WGTC’s They Said What?! Newsletter.