I may be ashamed to say it, but that makes it no less true: I’m a Love is Blind fan.
I resisted my new obsession with genuine, but unsuccessful, force, but it was ultimately pointless. This ridiculous, over-dramatic, hurricane of a show sucked me in and never let go. I’ve seen every season. I’ve endured every reunion. I’ve even watched the “after the altar” episodes, for some god-forsaken reason. And I’ve decided, after that last mess of a reunion, that Netflix needs to make one minor alteration to all future seasons. Well, with everything that went wrong in season 5, maybe more than one change is due, but I’m focused in on one in specific.
It all centers around the reunion episodes. The “experiment” itself could use with plenty of changes, but this season’s reunion got (almost) everything right. The addition of the cute little questions at the end? Hilarious. I don’t think I’ll ever get over Stacy naming “My Love Don’t Cost a Thing” as her song of the season. That should stick around forever.
But with one additional add-on, I think those Love is Blind reunions will be impossible to forget: Blood pressure monitors. I know, I know, it seems like a weird suggestion, but hear me out. These gorgeous people endure a chaotic, dramatic season full of betrayals and strife, and then wait a full year before seeing the people they met in the pods again. Not always, of course — friendships are often forged in the pods — but when the break-up is messy, its often been months since these people set eyes on one other.
So just picture this along with me. The couples that made it to the altar come sauntering in, outfits matching and utterly slaying in dolled-up looks, only to be led to those same couches, where strange little machines idle in their dedicated spots. Before the discussion begins, Nick and Vanessa filter through and help secure the cuffs around their arms. Then, everyone gets seated, and the real show begins.
Can you imagine how much more revealing the reunions would be if the cast members weren’t so damn good at concealing their emotions? If, every time an Uche, Shake, or Irina comes up, we could see the spike in blood pressure? If we had genuine proof of just how miffed these people still are, a year after their beefs allegedly settled, thanks to the betrayal of their own cardiovascular systems?
Those harsh conversations would be presented in a whole new light if, past a tight smile, our Shaina, Stacy, and Paul’s were exposed by a spike on their separate monitors. Those monitors would be on full display, of course — why else hook them up to the machines at all? — allowing all of us to see just how much those “minor” squabbles and “forgotten” altercations still make their blood boil. Yes, its a massive invasion of their privacy, but come on. Is it any worse than watching them in their actual bedrooms? Or during a marriage-ending fight? Honestly, this feels tame in comparison.
There you have it — my pitch for how to make Love is Blind just a little bit messier. Because if you’ve read any of my coverage on this turbulent show — or the similarly chaotic The Ultimatum: Queer Love — you know I love me a good mess, and Love is Blind has plenty of room to turn up the disorder in future seasons. Netflix, I hope you’re listening.
